Lost!

Waking up in a dizzy. The heat was burning through my skin. The taste of sand lingered on my tongue. My eyes were heavy and struggled to contain the bright lights. I close my eyes and roamed my head to recollect my last memory. All was a blur. I staggered to my feet,  feeling no pain nor hurt. Glancing around in all the directions, I was alone.

I rummaged through the land, found a cave and waited patiently for help. Days passed. The sight was common. Same monotony, drying up my will to survive and hope for a future. The days were stalked by vultures above,  zapped by heat, blinded by sand gusts and hunted by scorpions beneath.

I opened my wallet, took out a Polaroid of my wife and children waving behind the pane of a window, with a date scribbled~ 19.12.2016. I could not recollect when was this clicked and had no recollection of this moment.

I made a stone altar and then prayed to the Gods of this strange land. " I can wait here for help, I know the vultures are more patient than me. I have a family to care for, I ask for a life, let me cross through the night." I took a deep breath, exhaled deeply, closed my eyes and said: " So be it".

Wading through the desert in the night after night, after a few nights I felt no hunger, no pain. Every time I walked I received flashbacks of people I wronged, situations where I failed my myself and others and traded integrity for a quick buck. I cried as I walked thinking of all the wrong choices and blaming Karma for being a bitch.

As the nights passed by I found myself engulfed vastness and silence of the universe.

With every step ahead, I felt light,  my ears grew sharp, catching each wind that whispers and feeling each grain of sand that bounced off my face. The more I walked the more I thought about my past life, wondered where was I headed in the present and pondered about whether I would have a future.

With the moon to light my path,

the wind to guide my might,

every dune seemed small when viewed

by my glancing sight.

Days were a blur,

I slept through them all,

in and out of consciousness,

I did not remember the sun at all.

I reached a point

where I just wanted to give up,

the contours of sand looked the same,

I knew I had repented for my shame.

I pulled out my wallet, a tear dampened the picture,

I held it tight,

looked to the sky

and said " I can't hear you, God, I am not yet done"

After a short distance, there was a palpable change, I could taste the salt in the air. My ears heard the roar of the ocean hitting the shore. I walked as quickly with every reserve that I held, till I, saw the reflection of the moon upon the waters.

I fell down to my knees,  kissed the land and lay flat on the ground looking up at the stars. I uttered in my mind "Thank you, God"

I felt a jolt, a sudden flash of light. My heart was pounding through my chest and all these voices in his head. I got another jolt, felt more like a tremor in my heart and my sight gravitated till I reached a place of bright lights. I was ready for my judgment

I looked to the left and saw some silhouettes in black, I concentrated hard to focus my eyes. I looked to the right, I could not believe my eyes, I saw my family standing behind a window just as in the polaroid picture. I looked right and saw a table top calendar it read  19th Dec. I mumbled "Dé jàvu"

I heard the doctors speak "A month in a coma and slipping away, it's a miracle that he not only stabilized but also woke up. How rare is that".   If only they knew how far I traveled to see this day.

Just because I'm losing

Doesn't mean I'm lost!

Doesn't mean I'll stop

Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting

Doesn't mean I'm hurt

Doesn't mean

I don't get what I deserved

No better and no worse

I just got lost

                                      ~ Lost: Coldplay

Propaganda!

"There's so many different worlds

So many different suns

And we have just one world

But we live in different ones

Now the sun's gone to hell and

The moon's riding high

Let me bid you farewell

Every man has to die

But it's written in the starlight

And every line in your palm

We are fools to make war

On our brothers in arms" ~ Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms

The Forest of Promise ~ West of the Great Sea

The smell of burnt flesh filled the air, a bright yellow light lit the periphery of the jungle, black plume of smoke rose from the edges of the jungle and darkened the night sky.

The enforcers from the lion clan rushed to the edge of the jungle. On reaching, they discovered the villages of boars and bisons were burnt to the ground.

The vultures, the messengers of the kingdom, took an official briefing from the alpha lion and flew like the wind to the other  clans of the jungle- the foxes, the jackals, tigers, deer, giraffes, elephants, crocodiles, other birds, reptiles, and mammals. They relayed the message with amazing standardisation "the dragons have attacked the jungle, slaughtering the bisons and boars in cold blood and then burning down the village. The alpha lion has called the clan leaders for an extraordinary meeting at the watering hole in 2 suns, when the sun is at the highest point at the sky.

The next day the entire forest mourned the loss of the bisons and boars, they gathered at the centre of the forest beneath the old elder tree that towered  the forest and laid flowers, fruits, and nuts. Fear and Anger was palpable in the air. The vultures revealed to some ,(unofficially when probed), how the lions saw a number of dragons flying off to the east, over the oceans. This grapevine fuelled fear throughout the kingdom like wildfire.

At the appointed time, The alpha lion addressed the clan leaders gathered at the watering hole in the presence of other mammals, reptiles, and birds.

" My brothers and sisters today is a call for solidarity against the dragons. We have heard only fables of dragons, but two moons ago, the bisons and the boars have been slain by the dragons. What did we ever do to provoke such a dastardly act? (teary eyed) Shall we let this attack go without a reply? Should we let the blood of our brothers and sisters bisons and boars go in vain. Or should we teach them a lesson and send a message to all the mythical beasts that such an atrocious act would never be tolerated. (displaying rage) I ask for your strength that we take the war to the dragons,  rampage their lands. The wise old Vulture tells us that these dragons live in a land east of the sea. My fellow jungle men tell me what should I do? Go to war or should I step down as your leader who refused to take this sitting down?(thumping his claw)

The gathering replied "War! War! War!"

The alpha lion then pounds his claw in the air saying " We go to war with the dragons in 5 suns. Let us prepare and pray for success. Lions and vultures make us proud, avenge our loss."

And to war they went, it took 15 suns to tread the sea. At the forest of promise, the clans anxiously awaited any news. Then after 30 suns the vulture messengers appeared with news of victory. The troops returned after 50 suns with their plunder to happy and proud prides & volts.

Few aged lions and rookie vultures lost their lives to the treacherous sea voyage, but it was a small price to pay for the democracy.

Story 2

The Forest of Light ~ East of the Great Sea

One bright sunny day, the dodos and the wooly mammoths were attacked by ferocious red-eyed vultures and lions - fanged creatures of speed. The centres of learning, advanced sciences, medicines were rampaged. Those trying to flee were caught up with and slaughtered.  No one from the army survived the onslaught. The advanced civilisation was wiped out without a fight as they focused on peace and looked down upon violence. The forest of light was plundered to ruins. The weak and the young were rounded up and put into slaughter camps run by selected vultures and lions. Thus ending a great civilization that focused on evolution.

Back Story 3

The forest of promise ~ West of the Great Sea

Private Celebration post the war ~ Alpha Lion's Chamber.

The top-ranked lions and vultures attended this victory meet behind closed doors.

"My dearest vultures and lions Ever since a nonhunting treaty was signed with all the clans in the forest of promise and the carnivores pledged to turn to greens as a staple diet. We have plotted of how to get our fill with the support of the entire jungle.

I attribute this astounding shock and awe victory to the wise Vulture who said" Let's attack the dimwits, the bison and the boars who stay closest to the jungle perimeter. We drug them and then burn the village. My loyalists will fly to every clan and spread the news of the bloodthirsty, uncivilised dragon clan. We call for unity in these trying times and then incite mob/herd mentality of war. The populace will have no choice but to believe us and they will choose the path to war for us."

Thoughts

It is easy to accept what the media (vultures) broadcasts as unquestionable truth and accept this populist perspective & mob mentality. It is, however, imperative for you to question, whether you have the other perspective before jumping to a conclusion and announcing a verdict. In this age of technology and media, you are vulnerable to be subliminally programmed to react like the mob. Question your thinking, Question the source of information that has influenced your thinking and Question others to think about their actions. Then and only then, the decisions will reflect an evolution of thought.  Don't be a victim of classical conditioning*2 used to control your thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

Words of Wisdom

           
“The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organised habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ...We are governed, our minds are moulded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organised. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society. ...In almost every act of our daily lives, whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons...who understand the mental processes and social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind.”

― Edward L. Bernays, Propaganda

1) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_flag

2) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_conditioning

 42 False Flag Attacks does not include Sept 9/11

3) http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/WRHARTICLES/42falseflags.php#axzz4SKjSOcKa

Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel?

The smell of scorched crops filled the air, Rukhmani returned home, walking through the dead fields that her husband once ploughed, with a pot of water drawn from the nearby well. Parshuram, her husband, was nowhere to be seen. She had a slow sip of water and moved out the back entrance that oversaw miles and miles of paddy field. A lone rustic shed stood out like a thorn amidst the wonderful landscape. Parshuram was sitting inside the shed on a makeshift stool, taking one slow drag of the beedi, while observing the neighbour ploughing his field with his son. He smiled at his fortune of an early retirement, as his son sent him a steady source of cash every month from the city. Life was slow, Rukhmani and Parshuram were counting days, as life did not throw any surprises anymore. Dust, heat, flies and silence engulfed their lives in the day, the stars gave company to their loneliness & regret in the night.

Ramdev, gingerly walked to the field, which he ploughed, but did not own. He cursed his son for being a dimwit the entire way. Shwas was a strongly built boy but was a slow learner. As he reached his field, he gave a nod to his neighbour, who sat in the dilapidated shed, acknowledging his existence. How Ramdev wished from his heart that Shwas would go to the city and relieve him of his misfortunes of struggling every day, where time does not seem to pass or work does not seem to end. He too would then retire and resign to leisure. Ramdev's only source of happiness was his wife and daughter, who served a hot meal at midday and night. The meal at night was generally onions n bhakri  served with some fruits from the forest near their hut. The air surrounding the hut was filled with banter & laughter, but come morning Ramdev would wake up with explicit regret.

A few years later, on a dusty and dry summers day, in a black BMW, Shravan returned to cremate his parents Rukhmani and Parshuram, he was accompanied by his wife and son. Ramdev was present at the cremation with his son, he noticed that there wasn't any tears or weeping.  On the way home, Ramdev stopped & hugged his son for the first time, Shwas reciprocated with tears of joy.

"The son that never returned,

The fortune that never sufficed,

The tide that never turned,

A life devoid of love"

"To wish for more than you need,

To live each day with regret,

If only one can realise, happiness does not reside in fortunes

But in frozen grains of time called memories"

"Life goes on, it gets so heavy, The wheel breaks the butterfly*"

Paradise ~ Coldplay

The metamorphosis of life is heavily pitted against the cycle of time, as there is a constant trade-off between the trivial and the important. Only when the hamster escapes the wheel, it realises that it has not taken any steps forward for self or evolved any relations that truly matter.

We prefer to race alone, race quick and race ahead in life. The family is seen as a weakness that does not sit well with an ambitious career. For the few who want to make a difference, I say, march ahead with your loved ones through life, who have brought you up and who care for you. Like the hamster don't be too late to realise, that when you have amassed all the wealth that one can have and have scaled the peak of your career, only to look back and see, there is no one who matters or truly cares.

* A line of Alexander Pope’s Epistle to Dr Arbuthnot: “Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel?” The line is usually interpreted as questioning why someone would put massive effort into achieving something minor or unimportant.

*1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_breaks_a_butterfly_upon_a_wheel%3F

Wheel of time

*2 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheel_of_time

Children need TLC not video games

1996 12 years old 

It has been a month, but the death of my grandmother is on my mind and in school, I  refuse to get bullied. In doing so, I have invited the wrath of two serial bullies, who won't take no for an answer. I get into a fight, and due to my lack of experience, size and speed (lack of it), I taste mud within the next 15 seconds. That's that for courage. I return home enraged with vengeance on my mind.

2002 18 years old

I reach home after college, have lunch and then switch on my desktop. I switch off the lights, keep the door open, a cool breeze is needed as it is a hot summers day. I double click on the grand theft auto icon to launch the game. 

For the next 3 and a half hours, I play God. I go on a rampage killing people with guns, grenades and sniper rifles, commit grand theft auto at least a few dozen times, and run over at least a few people (collect their cash )while committing it. Kill at least 15 cops and then put in a cheat code to avoid imprisonment. This has been my routine for the last few years.

2003 19 years old

I leave St. Andrews College Bandra at 12:00 pm, walking with my friends Jonathan and Clovis towards Bandra station. As we reach Bandra station, we decide to bird watch and catch the next train. Just as the train is about to alight the station, I see a man perched on top of the local train, (resembling a beggar) who tries to get up and in doing so touches the overhead live wire. He shimmies for 5 seconds and then collapses to the roof, with a plume of white smoke rising from his corpse. I signal the attention of my friends, the man is dead. We stare at the frantic action in silence & then curse the delay in catching the next train home.

2005 21 years old 

5pm, I freshen up, as my eyes are tired and leave to play rink football with my friends. Later, I end up abusing one of my teammates  who could not score a sitter (an easy goal). This altercation turns heated and then it comes down to a fist fight which was broken up by others in the right nick of time. I feel a surge of energy and house a bad temper throughout the day.

2009 24 years old 

MBA third semester, I get placed in an HR consultancy  and life gets busy between work & studies. So most of my time at home is spent sleeping and on assignments.

2016 Reflections

Low Self Esteem at an early age pushed me, to finding an outlet in first person shooter gaming. Immediate repercussions to such gaming resulted in lower interaction and trust with others. Prolonged addiction manifested in, anger and short temper issues while playing or in interaction with others (reduction of empathy and compassion when conversing with other). It also resulted in being indifferent towards the suffering or plight of others.

Reversing the effects of first person shooter games, takes time, as it is the same as cigarette or alcohol addiction. In my case, it took me close to 4 years to build back empathy, compassion, trust, and patience. The same amount of time to replace my modus operandi from I Win, you Lose (extreme competitiveness) to We Win (getting along together). 

Post Thoughts

Effects on Children*2

Children experience anxiety, elation, frustration, anger accompanied by tense muscles, headaches, drowsiness during and long after they have played first person shooter games. 

Effects oF violent videos

Daily I come across a large number of people watch videos of suicides, massacres, terrorism aftermaths, fatal and near fatal injuries and laugh out off. I see them glued to such videos. Over a period of time, this is resulting in people taking videos and selfies with victims rather than helping them out. 

Think about it!

*¹ Impact of First Person shooter Games

https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/blog/viamedia-shoot-to-kill

https://openlab.citytech.cuny.edu/elliseng1101d380fa2015/2015/12/11/effects-of-the-first-person-shooting-games-by-sher-syed/

*² Impact of Violent Games on Children

http://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/whats-the-psychological-effect-of-violent-video-games-on-children.html

What is fed by Media as Propaganda to the youth

https://www.google.co.in/amp/uproxx.com/gammasquad/a-study-shows-first-person-shooter-games-increase-your-brain-power/amp/

Mtv Generation

Born in 1984, in the late 80's I recall having wonderful memories of All India Radio, Doordarshan and Tinkle comics.

Life was simple, roads were rough and people were tough (strong). Love was a spiritual experience, family was valued, friendship was genuine, patience was a virtue, hard work was a norm and a sense of community was prevalent. 

Post-2000, I recall confusion of choices, characters, and context.

Life turned complex, roads were tough and people turned indifferent. Love depleted to a physical experience, family has turned into a desirable value, instant gratification kicked in, entitlement is the new norm, friendship turned judgmental and self-centeredness took centre stage.

Trigger point

Well, what did trigger this Generation Gap and reduced the influence of values in our lives replacing it with brands, shallow thoughts, and pleasure-seeking behavior.

This eradication of Indian values and installation of American ideology started in 1994 with the launch of Mtv. Children born in the early 1980s  witnessed a tremendous shift in value systems guiding decision making, relationships and general outlook towards life.

When I say Mtv, I mean to say that there is always a breaking point, for example, it takes one crack to bring down a dam and Mtv was the first channel to break the stronghold of Indian values, then there was no stopping the flow of American ideology by other channels and programming.

The generations post 1988-89 will never feel this difference as they have never seen or felt this swing of ideology.

Mtv was the first channel that brought with it culture shock, sold artists who sold pleasure in the name of promoting individuality, sex in the name of love, vulgarity in the name of the dance and uprooted  Indian  values and beliefs systems one small step at a time.

The history of Mtv is very interesting and sinister, the one-point agenda was to instil a belief shared among its programmers " As above, so below". It means giving in to your desires and deepest darkest fantasies" Even today this ideology and influence control the music and entertainment industry.

If you notice artists were earlier people who actually were blessed with a talent- voice and a sense of musicial magic - melody, harmony and rhythm. Now a day's artists are thugs, murderers, perverts, profanity users and cross dressers. There is no melody but a video that sells a lifestyle of money, honey, sex, parties, that's all.

It took one apple in the garden of Eden to break the bond between God and man and it took one Mtv to break the bond of Indian family values.

I generally substantiate what I say with research. For this article, I wrote what I truly felt and then researched for the evidence below*¹*².

*¹ Cultural Bane or Sociological boon? Impact of Satellite television on Urban youth in India

http://www.razonypalabra.org.mx/anteriores/n31/krampal.html

*²Mtv's Influence in India

https://laurenmjacobson.wordpress.com/portfolio/Mtvs-influence-in-india/

On Death and Near Death experiences

"Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you"
Coldplay

THE NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

Nearly all death experience of survivors, in unison tell a tale of how they could see their physical selves while having an out of body experience, while medical staff tries their best to bring them back to life. They recall, meeting a known family member or angel for whom they had immense respect for in their lives, approach them from a white bright light and tell them to get back. A few of them even recall faint memories of a place devoid of time, where all the dearly departed reside together in happiness. Then whooooooosh, they are back in their mortal bodies amongst doctors and medical staff.

FINAL JUDGEMENT

Throughout life, we  have been informally (media reports) or subliminally (unconsciously) instructed that once you die or experience phenomena called death, you have to walk towards a bright light for your final judgment. That's what I too believed for a long time. It makes perfect sense meeting your creator and being judged for your mortal deeds. Post that we return to earth.

UNRESOLVED PURPOSE

You may argue that we are reborn as have an unresolved purpose. I agree, that it could be true. But what's the use having a purpose without recalling what is it?

But what if there is more to death than meets the eye!

What if, The long walk through the bright light is just an illusion to harvest your soul and reset it into a new body. Your hard disk (memories) undergoes a factory reset (erased). It all starts, when your memories are used against you, to convince you to walk towards the judgment light by someone who looks and talks like someone you really and truly love and has access to those memories.

You may say I am insane and this theory*² is written by a  lunatic but hear me out.

Every time one dies, it's a reboot and return to earth, but unfortunately without the knowledge and experiences of the earlier life. Wouldn't if be easier if we had previous knowledge and experiences to go through our current lives or at least a recall of our destination. But NO, we have nothing and then we tread the same old grounds, live the  same old mistakes, and we are back in the soul harvester for another reboot.

POST DEATH DILEMMAS

Just think about it, our understanding of the journey  post death is - our soul leaves the body, we journey through a white pillar of light and then reside in an abode amidst fluffy clouds, white lights, good souls, tranquil music and abundance of love..our final destination.

Considering the divinity of this unassailable place, why would we prefer to come back to this God forsaken place. However, we always and definitely come back and worst of all without our memory. Double Whammy!

LACK OF THEORY

There is a very limited theory on death documented in the library of mankind. None of the religions give a step by step guide on what needs to be done to reach this Shangri-la and be there. The Egyptians did a good job of putting some hieroglyphs depicting the journey of death in a boat towards the stars. Unfortunately, we cannot decipher it. In short zero knowledge.

SUPER MARIO BROS, AMNESIA & PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

Like Super Mario Bros,*¹ the 8-bit game that we have all played and loved as kids, we think we will find our destination( the princess,) at the end of every level. However, we have her (princess) handmaid, who tells us after we slay the fire breathing dragon, sorry Mario the princess is in another castle ~ Wtf... 

We feel sad for Mario, all that he did was in search of a destination that was not even his, to begin with. That's because Mario does not  recall that the princess in world 8 level 4..and when he dies in pursuit, it's another reboot to level 1 without any past memory or recall of a destination.

Once Mario is reborn, he changes his purpose to something attainable like food, clothing, shelter, security or a social need, but the ultimate purpose of rescuing the princess never truly realizes.

SHEEPISH BELIEFS

If it was up to me I would say don't walk towards the light like the herd, take your time to know what you are getting into.

*¹ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Bros.

*² http://freedom-articles.toolsforfreedom.com/soul-net-deep-down-rabbit-hole/

Perspective and Perception

History is riddled with characters labeled as good, bad and ugly! Let us try and get another perspective. 

I. EVIL IS ABSOLUTE! OR IS IT?

Let us revisit the Mahabharata 

Shakuni *¹, the main strategist of the Kauravas. The mastermind of the biggest war that resulted in the loss of over 1 billion 660 million lives, had actually had a very sorry past. 

Shakuni was thrown into prison with his 100 brothers when his homeland was conquered by Hastinapur (ruled by the very same Kauravas). In prison, each of his brothers was given 1 grain of rice each per day. Since Shakuni, was the smartest member of the family, his brothers sacrificed their share of grains and fed him so that he could take their revenge for all the wrong done to them. He witnessed the death of each brother to starvation and in order to not forget this great sacrifice and the purpose of his life, the prince bends his knee, so every time he limps, it would remind him of his purpose in life.

Was Shakuni evil or righteous? 

II. EVERYTHING IS WRITTEN. 

Let us now, revisit the Ramayana

Ravana, the evil Rakshasa who kidnaps Sita and was slain by Rama. Every Dussehra we celebrate this triumph of good over evil. 

Rama, was an incarnation of God Vishnu (the preserver), while Ravana and his brother Kumbhakarna, in their earlier demigod avatar, were great bhaktas (devotees) of God Vishnu. 

One cosmic day, Four Kumaras (children of God Brahma ~ the creator), wanted to visit Vishnu but were stopped by Jaya-Vijaya*² the gatekeepers, as a result, they were cursed to give up their divinity and live as mortals. God Vishnu appeared before them and since he could not reverse the curse, he offered Jaya-Vijaya two options. Option one was to take 7 births so as to devotees of Vishnu or Option two was to take 3 births as an enemy of Vishnu only post that they could be reunited with their beloved God. Since they could not stay away from God Vishnu for seven mortal lives, they chose the latter option. 

Of their 3 lives as enemies of God Vishnu, Jaya-Vijaya in their second life, were called Ravana and Kumbhakarna , who were slain by Rama (the seventh avatar of God Vishnu).

There is no good and evil, its all perception.

III. A VILLAIN TO THE WORLD, BUT HERO TO THE ONE WHO MATTERS

Let us also revisit the betrayal of Jesus Christ.

Jesus was aware that one of his disciples- Judas*³ would betray him, that too with a kiss to his cheek as a warm greeting. But was the greeting really required? 

Think about it for a minute, if someone is openly challenging traditional beliefs held by the society, those in power, I am sure, those who run society will keep a track of his/her movements. Then why did few Roman Soldiers need Judas to identify Jesus with a kiss of death? Some state that Jesus was a shape shifter, he appeared with different features to different people who were part of the same audience who saw him at the same time (complicated isn't it). 

Jesus needed a disciple like Judas to help him leave this mortal world and ascend to his true realm-the heavens. As everything is pre-written ( we can change our fate but not our destiny) Judas' destiny was also pre-written. Sadly, he is still portrayed as the betrayer of Christ! But, come to think of it, isn't he the redeemer of Christ? 

I feel history is re-written by a selected few, and we view history with this limited perspective given to us by those few.

What do you think? 

*¹ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakuni
*² https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaya-Vijaya
*³ http://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/people-cultures-in-the-bible/jesus-historical-jesus/why-did-judas-identify-jesus-with-a-kiss/